4 Lessons I Learned From My Latin American Grandmother

Growing up with a Colombian abuelita was wildly different from any family I knew. I was raised on stories from a land that felt mythical and far away. These stories were filled with unimaginable struggle, heartbreak, and an unwavering determination for triumph. Being a first-generation Colombian (dad)-Mexican (mom) American, I grew up hearing endless stories and understood their messages of never giving up despite how hard things get, doing my best in everything I do, and never taking anything in my life for granted. 

From birth until age 8, I had been blessed with being raised by an extra parent—a grandmother who taught me what I needed to know—while my parents worked their hardest to provide a life that would give my brother and me endless opportunities. I’m thankful to have this incredible woman in my life, reminding me of the life lessons she taught me when I was younger. These lessons shaped me into the ambitious, determined personperhaps even the storyteller I am today. I share them because they’re still relevant, and are guiding principles everyone needs in their life.

 

Lesson #1: Life is what you make it

Or as my abuelita says, “No llore.” The translation to this means “Don’t cry.” Our emotional IQ has evolved since I learned this, but in her defense, it didn’t mean don’t cry ever. It meant, if you’re unhappy about a situation, do something about it; don’t sit around and mope, because your life is what you make of it. My abuelita, a single mother of six, raised her children, and helped out with her siblings’ children as well, all during a time where machismo was alive and well, in a country where corruption was widespread. It was tough, to say the least. Every time I cried over something that didn’t go my way, whether it be something not going right in my career, in college, or a breakup, her reasoning for telling me not to cry went a lot like this, “If I sat around and cried about all the suffering I’ve had to endure, it’d have gotten me nowhere.” I learned not to dwell on the bad, and instead change my circumstances to get the results I wanted.

My abuelita had to overcome poverty, and still fulfilled her dream of setting her children up for success. At one point, there was barely enough money for food. Often, brothers and sisters shared clothes, and each child was allotted one pair of shoes until the soles had holes. On top of that, options for schooling were military or public—both, my grandmother believed, would send her children down a road she didn’t want them to go. For her it was vital that her children get a private education, because public schools at that time weren’t good. How, when money was scarce? She’d volunteer in La Politica, local politics, to get scholarships for each of her kids, and she networked with the schools’ principals, volunteering for the schools when she could.

After her day job at Sears, she’d come home and cook in order to sell food on the bus during her morning commute. When asked about her entrepreneurial spirit, she explained that she did all that she could to make ends meet. My abuelita explained that she needed to provide all the tools for her children to succeed, so that she could provide a life where easy money wasn’t appealing to them. (Ahem, Colombia in the ‘70s and ‘80s.) Once she even humbly bragged, “See my kids are all honest, successful, and without any vices.” 

 

Every time I cried over something that didn’t go my way, whether it be something not going right in my career, in college, or a breakup, her reasoning for telling me not to cry went a lot like this, ‘If I sat around and cried about all the suffering I had to endure, it’d get me nowhere.’ I learned not to dwell on the bad, and instead change my circumstances to get the results I wanted.

 

These stories taught me something crucial: she could not allow herself to grieve over the times life knocked her down; she kept going because she had to. In her mind she had no other choice—failure was never an option for her. Thankfully, this behavior rubbed off on me. I never allowed a closed door, a “no,” or a hardship to discourage me from getting what I wanted. I set the bar high, and would not stop until I achieved everything that I wanted.

In all honesty, I owed it to my family for all of the struggles they went through to get me here. So, I got into my dream school (Fight On!) on my second try. I spent four years applying for a job at the biggest and best storytelling company. Even after every redirection, I spent every spare moment plumping up my resume with internships at well-known media networks and content creation companies until I got the job I wanted. (If you work in media, you know how competitive and rigorous it was to get those internships. And I did the work for free, might I add.) When I finally got my “dream job,” I juggled a full-time job and a full-time Masters in Professional Writing program from the University of Southern California, meaning I had 16-hour days of work and school every day for a couple years. Working hard and shaping my future the way I wanted,was the way I repaid my parents and abuelita. She taught me the most important lesson: I had the power to create my own reality–my own future—despite anything in my way. She always made it happen, and I continue to live my life that way too.    

 

image courtesy of Nathalie Martinez

 

Lesson #2: “It’s better to be alone than in bad company.”

The saying goes, “Es mejor estar solo que mal acompañado.” Or it’s better to be alone than in bad company. My abuelita told me that the most important person in your life will be who you choose to be your life partner. This person can make your life hard and miserable, and that person is not someone who is worth keeping around. “You can do it all yourself, and better,” she’d say, because she loved to remind me that one was capable of the seemingly impossible. I was in my early 20s when I dealt with my first real heartbreak. And she said, “Well, I see you’re still living, so you survived it, with the whole world in the palm of your hand. So what exactly is the problem?” (The “don’t cry” speech from lesson #1 also came into play here.) My abuelita acted like my heartbreak was just a tiny bump in the road of life. (I learned later—it was.) She’d elaborate to never chase someone; if their love isn’t given freely, they don’t belong in your life. As hard as breakups are, I took her advice, and never allowed myself to sit around and do nothing. I’d repeat the phrase to myself to remind myself: I deserved better.

 

She taught me the most important lesson: I had the power to create my own reality—my own future—despite anything in my way. She always made it happen, and I continue to live my life that way too.

 

Of course, my abuelita wasn’t only referring to romantic love when stating this dicho—meaning “saying” in English. She taught me to never have someone in your life that would hold you back, hurt you, bring drama into your life, or get you into trouble. This included bosses who didn’t allow you to grow in your career, friendships that weren’t serving, and even family members who bring stress into your life.Do not let anyone drag you down or be in charge of your happiness,” she’d say. I still value this lesson today, making sure that the people I keep around me are the best company.  

 

Lesson #3: Give thanks 

Who knew I didn’t have to spend hours reading countless metaphysical books (though I’ve loved every minute of it) to learn that the most important life lesson grants you ultimate happiness and aids in manifestation. Gratitude was taught to me at an early age. These were constant friendly reminders of how lucky I was to be born in a country where I had opportunity. Being born in the United States meant I’d never wake up and dream to get a visa to be granted permission to leave a country for one where I could work hard and make something of myself, like a lot of my family did. The country in which I was born already granted me the freedom to follow goals and accomplish my dreams. My abuelita explained to me that I was blessed beyond belief to have the opportunity to live in a safe area with a roof over my head, an abundance of food, and the fact that I could go to school. These were luxuries most of my family didn’t have, including my abuelita.

 

Being born in the United States meant I’d never wake up and dream to get a visa to be granted permission to leave a country for one where I could work hard and make something of myself, like a lot of my family did. The country in which I was born already granted me the freedom to follow goals and accomplish my dreams.

 

When I adopted her ideology on gratitude, I started seeing things through a different lens. Not only was life more beautiful, I had time to appreciate all the little things that made me happy; seemingly small things that turned out to be important, and even vital, to my life. All of this caused me to feel more compassion for others, and to do more for others.

I remember the day it hit me. I was in Portland with some friends, and we spent two days walking around the city. Exhausted, cold, and with aching feet, we scoped the city for massages. I remember laying on the massage table, with a sudden realization, “We are so lucky. We’re exhausted from a day of shopping, and we have the financial ability to get a massage on a whim. My grandma could never do this after being on her feet all day, working multiple jobs to give her children the essentials.” I ranted for a while, realizing that there was so much sacrifice from my parents, and both paternal and maternal grandmothers, to have the freedom that I had.

Gratitude allowed me to see this. I felt blissfully aware of the powers that brought me to that point in my life. It was up to me to find ways to give back, not only to my grandma and parents, but also to provide opportunities to others who may not have the same ones as I do.  

 

image courtesy of Nathalie Martinez

 

Lesson #4: With prayer and patience, everything is possible

My abuelita is the strongest woman I know. On top of this, her faith is unwavering. She has always known that life, though hard, would always work out in her favor. She knew that sometimes things took time, and that made her appreciate it more; she knew that with hard work and faith, eventually things would get better. As though it weren’t enough for her to go through her struggles in Colombia, she had different struggles here in the United States. Never one to complain, she finally received her visa in her early 50s, after waiting most of her life for the opportunity. 

I saw my abuelita go to night school four days a week to learn English. I’d help her study for her test to become a U.S. citizen; a test that was in a language she didn’t speak. It broke my heart to watch her continuously fail the test after studying so hard and wanting it so bad. After several tries, she passed the test and became a citizen!

 

She has always known that life, though hard, would always work out in her favor. She knew that sometimes things took time, and that made her appreciate it more; she knew that with hard work and faith, eventually things would get better.

 

Later in life, in her early 70s, she broke her hip and kept walking on it for a month. She said the pain was excruciating, but waited for her doctor’s appointment. Upon check up, they had to perform surgery, and once it was over, doctors said she’d never be able to walk or live alone again. For an incredibly independent woman, these words were devastating—but she didn’t let it stop her. Two months later, she made sure that wouldn’t be her reality. My abuelita began walking again, and for the next six years she lived alone and walked as much as she wanted.

Then, nearly two years ago, life had gotten to this strong woman yet again. She had to have another surgery at the age of 85, it got infected, she became septic, had to have a second surgery, and soon after, she had a stroke. It left her paralyzed on her right side and she lost her memory and speech. She’d never be able to speak again, they said. Though she couldn’t really communicate with us, you could see that she understood what was going on. Even in her gaze and her hand squeezes, I felt her determination. A couple of months went by and she was able to move her right arm and leg again. At three months, she was able to speak normally, and has most of her memories back, except for her short-term ones. She’s of sound mind, and is still able to remind me of the lessons she taught me. She is #goals. Her unwavering faith taught me that in time, everything would always work out. 

 

I like to joke about my abuelita that, They sure don’t make them like they used to. She is truly one of a kind. I aspire to be as strong as her, and I feel lucky that I’ve inherited her determination and unwillingness to give up. My abuelita’s lack of complaint for the things she’s had to endure is applaudable. The way she always toughed it out is admirable. There were so many things that I love and admire about my abuelita, and I’m so thankful for her and her endless lessons.

This past International Women’s Day, we did face masks and I celebrated her. Her response to our little celebration was, “Every day is women’s day, because women are strong beyond belief. They do the impossible every single day.” I am most thankful for her favorite lesson, which was the most important lesson of all: as a woman, I have the power within me to make anything happen. The most magical part of it all? She made me believe it. 

 

The post 4 Lessons I Learned From My Latin American Grandmother appeared first on The Everygirl.

15 Clean Beauty Brands You Should Know About

I love the idea of clean beauty, but I find all of the terminology a bit confusing since there are so many buzzwords smacked on product packaging with little regulation here in the U.S. Natural, organic, non-toxic, clean, etc. can mean different things to each brand. So, before adding brands to this list, I took the time to read through each company’s mission statement and ingredients list to ensure they lined up. 

Essentially, “clean beauty” means that the line is generally non-toxic, environmentally conscious, and uses plant-based ingredients. I am a firm believer in balance, but I also understand that making the switch to clean products can be a budget buster, so if you find one product you want to switch, fantastic. If you don’t, that’s fine too! 

I may love beauty, but I am not an expert on the clean beauty space. I am still learning just like the rest of you. Next time you have a product empty, try replacing it with a product from one of these clean-beauty businesses.

 

1. Klur Skincare

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Hello! 👋🏾 ⠀ I would like to introduce myself to everyone new here. I’m Lesley Thornton, a licensed esthetician and the founder of Klur.co ⠀ Klur is an eco-inclusive skin and personal care brand based in Los Angeles, CA. ⠀ I started Klur as a facial studio, and for nearly a decade, I specialized in natural and non-toxic facial treatments. I learned that the best results were achieved when nature and science were combined to work in harmony. ⠀ With expert training and hands-on experience, I was able to document the effects of various ingredients and formulations on diverse skin. Unknowingly, I was gathering research data for the product line, which was the foundation of what Klur has become today. ⠀ While I’m no longer treating clients, my sole focus is continuing to create products, so that I can reach more people who can experience the same level of results and enjoyment through our formulations. ⠀ I am thrilled to continue to share and build with you all, and I have many things in the works for the future. ⠀ -Lesley ✌🏾🌎 ~📷 @susannekindt

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I have used Klur since February, and it is now one of my favorite brands of all time. The packaging is luxe (and sustainable), and the products just work. Among my favorites are the Gentle Matter daily cleanser, which doesn’t irritate my sensitive skin, and the Elements of Comfort body oil that I apply before bed when I feel anxious or can’t sleep. 

KLUR

Gentle Matter Daily Moisturizer Cleanser

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KLUR

Immersion Serum Concentrate

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2. Native Atlas

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Treasures we can send right to your door #stayhome 🏡✨💻❤

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Using non-toxic, plant-derived ingredients, this skincare brand shares its ingredients profile with its customers to ensure brand transparency. Whether you need a bath soak or a new makeup remover, they’ve got something for everyone.

Native Atlas

Circulation Soak

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Native Atlas

Zahara Rewind Tonic Liquid Exfoliant

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3. Golde

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We make superfood health and beauty, for every body 🥬🍊🥦 from face masks to latte blends, we’re here to help you feel like your best self. Leave your product questions below and we’ll share our favorite tips and tricks 🤗

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Beauty starts from the inside out, and this Brooklyn-born company’s superfood latte blends will help you get your day started without the caffeine jitters with their Turmeric-based blends. 

Golde

Clean Greens Face Mask

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Golde

Original Turmeric Tonic for Skin Glow + Debloat

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4. Ilia Beauty

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Day 832389239. We all know “woke up like this” is not a thing by now. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 👆 Enter skin-centric basics that keep your skin aglow. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Super Serum Skin Tint SPF 40 in Bom Bom, DayLite Highlighting Powder in Decades + Multi-Stick in Cheek To Cheek pictured here.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 📷 @mellyns_beauty⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #ILIABeauty #CatchTheLite #SPFmade Super #CleanBeauty #CleanMakeup

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Ilia beauty was also introduced to me this year. Their silicone-free, fragrance-free, oil-free, non-comedogenic skin tint made me trade in my tried-and-true tinted moisturizer. I think their color range could use some diversifying, but with their recent commitment to Pull Up For Change, I hope we see some changes soon. 

Ilia Beauty

Super Serum Skin Tint SPF 40 Foundation

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Ilia

Limitless Lash Mascara

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5. Ranavat Botanics

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The FLAWLESS COMPLEXION set has the 3 steps you need to change your skin. These treatments include Saffron + Turmeric that will replace your Vitamin C (brightening + anti-inflammatory), Manjistha for a detoxifying gentle cleanse and jasmine that deeply hydrates the skin. . . #Ranavat #YourRoyalRitual #Ayurveda #cleanbeauty #greenbeauty #luxuryskincare #naturalskincareroutine #organicskincare #greenskincare #cleanskincare #greenbeautyblogger #leapingbunny #ibeauty #glowup #indiebeauty #nontoxicbeauty #facialserum #powdermask #weareindiebeauty #365inskincare #credobeauty #madesafe #greencleaning #skincareaddict #crueltyfreeskincare #leapingbunnycertified #hairserum #radiantskin #glowingskincare #naturalglow

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Ranavat is a small but mighty line of skin and hair care products inspired by Ayurvedic beauty rituals. Many products in this line are made with anti-inflammatory ingredients like turmeric root, rose, and saffron, which is a plus for any skin type. My go-to product is the Radiant Rani Illuminating Botanical Serum because it lives up to its name. 

Ranavat

Kiss of Royal Tea Hydrating Masque

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Ranavat

Rose Tonique

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6. PHLUR

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“It’s the type of scent where you say, ‘That would be a perfect shower gel.’ Those crisp, super-fresh notes, and the effect that it has on you. The happiness that it brings.” —Nathalie Benareau, S.C. 59 perfumer⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When we first smelled S.C. 59 we knew it HAD to be our next plant-powered body wash and lotion. Invigorating, fresh and clean smelling—consider it a little dose of sunshine for your morning routine.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Shop link in bio. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #PHLUR #cleanbeauty #crueltyfree #nontoxicbeauty #sustainability #greenbeauty #sustainable #cleanfragrance #wellness #nontoxicfragrance #bcorp #cleanskincare #plantbased

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If you love fragrance but are looking for a cleaner version of your favorite scent, you can start here. Like many of the clean brands I’ve mentioned, PHLUR is transparent about how their candles, fragrances, and body care offerings are made. 

PLUR

Olmsted & Vaux—Body Wash and Lotion

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PLUR

Hanami Minimal Fragrance

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7. Beneath Your Mask 

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The Minis are now back in stock! This is the perfect way to discover our collection! Which product from our collection have you been wanting to try?🤍

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Dana Jackson founded Beneath Your Mask after healing from her personal health journey with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. The micro-batch brand only uses organic and wild-crafted botanicals to create their products, and they do not contain water, phosphates, parabens, sulfates, gluten, toxins, GMOs, synthetic colors, or fragrance. 

Beneath Your Mask

Remedy Conditioning Lip Balm

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Beneath Your Mask

Heal Whipped Skin Soufflé

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8. Summer Fridays

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Our little Summer Fridays family ✨ What skincare product would you like to see next?

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The name Summer Fridays always makes me think of happy hour, but the beloved brand is known for creating masks that exfoliate, hydrate, and brighten the skin with ingredients that work without harm to your body. 

Summer Fridays

Jet Lag Mask

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Summer Fridays

CC Me Vitamin C Serum

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9. Undefined Beauty

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Don’t let the tamed ones tell you how to live ✌🏾 #LiveUndefined . Limited Edition Glow Balms L-to-R: Untethered (coral meets fuchsia), Undone (rosè but sold out), Unbothered (nude with touch of pink) #GetTheGlow . . . . . #unapologetic #uncompromising #unfiltered #breaktherules #inclusivebeauty #consciousbeauty #cbdbeauty #cbdskincare #cbdmovement #cbdwellness #cleanbeauty #nontoxicbeauty #naturallipbalm #lippies #liptreatment #fruitinfused #cbdinfused #lipbalmlover #liptint #limitededition #veganbeauty #veganlipbalm #tintedlipbalm #waxfree #petrochemicalfree #ingredientsmatter #shopblack #supportblackownedbusiness

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CBD products are a favorite among beauty lovers, and this collection has a face oil, an exfoliating mask, and even a CBD body balm that doubles as a candle. Each product is made with non-toxic ingredients and this list of no-nos the brand founder won’t put into their products. 

Undefined Beauty

Glow Balm CBD Lip Treatment

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Undefined Beauty

Glow Booster CBD Acid Peel

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10. Plant Apothecary

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New names. Same amazing body washes 💦 . . . . #bathtime #cleanbeauty #organicskincare #veganskincare #crueltyfreeskincare

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Plant Apothecary’s organic body washes brighten my day. I can probably thank the feel-good essential oils for that. The skincare line has always used organic, plant-derived ingredients, and sustainable packaging to ensure its products are kind to the skin and environment.

Plant Apothecary

WAKEY WAKEY Organic Body Wash

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Plant Apothecary

WASH YOUR FACE Organic Aloe Face Wash

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11. Range Beauty 

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Fairest of fair to deepest of deep.

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Finding a clean foundation that works for deep skin tones is still a bit of challenge, which is why Range Beauty is so important to the clean beauty space. Their complexion products are made with ingredients like French clay, chamomile, cornflower, and vitamin E. 

Range Beauty

True Intentions Hydrating Foundation

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Range Beauty

Translucent Powder

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12. Brujita Skincare

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🔥Endless Summer Kit is LIVE🔥 Those who purchase a kit will be able to get a Facial Mask Set at $20 😱 get those savings y’all! NO CODE NEEDED. Please take our NEW Skin Quiz to get a customized skincare routine from Brujita herself 😉 It’s like Zoltar but for Skincare 🔮😘 Who is ready for that Endless Summer glow?!

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Inspired by esthetician Leah Guerrero’s love of Mexican mercados, this skincare brand uses sustainable, raw, organic, and unrefined ingredients to make their products. The line has everything from cleansers to moisturizers.

Brujita Skincare

Santa Limpia Facial Scrub

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Brujita Skincare

Hechizo Facial Serum

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13. 54 Thrones

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Beauty Butter 6 Ways 💕! Which is your favorite?

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Founder Christina Tegbe’s definition of clean beauty is represented in the non-toxic ingredients she ethically and sustainably sources for her products. Transparency is key for her brand, and each of their hand-crafted products showcases that commitment. 

54 Thrones

Lava Cleansing Mask

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54 Thrones

African Beauty Butter

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14. Saie Beauty

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Just want to say hiiii and introduce ourselves to all our new followers! 👋🏽 We’re Saie, clean makeup formulated by beauty experts, requested by you. To get to know us better, our 2-Minute Makeup Kit is now available for $58 ($83 value), for this weekend only. That means you’re getting a Glowy Super Gel for free!⁣ ⁣ And we want to get to know you! Let us know where you're scrolling in from and if there’s a clean makeup item you’d like to see us create. Comment below 💜

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Saie Beauty is another company that is honest with their customers about the ingredients they do and don’t use in their products. Not to mention their commitment to eliminating plastic from their packaging is an effort that stands out to me. Their cult-favorite Brow Butter is one product I’d suggest giving a try if you’re up for trying a clean product for your brows. 

Saie Beauty

Brow Butter

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Saie Beauty

Really Great Gloss

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15. Sana Skin Studio

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Marie Kondo your routine with our Clean Beauty Starter Kit 🤍💧☁⠀ ⠀ Includes:⠀ – @ursamajorvt Fantastic Face Wash ⠀ – @ursamajorvt Face Balm Moisturizer ⠀ – @ursamajorvt Force Field Daily SPF 18 ⠀ – @bathingculture Refillable Body Wash ⠀ – @everyday_oil body oil ⠀ – @primary.elements deodorant ⠀ ⠀ A $200 value for $160 💫🦋

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Sana Skin Studio is a clean skincare studio based in Miami, Florida, that was set to open it’s doors just before COVID-19 made its way to the United States. The studio has since shifted its model to offer clean beauty skincare “routines” set right to your door filled with clean beauty products for various skincare concerns from acne to anti-aging.

Sana Skin Studio

Double Cleanse Routine Kit

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Sana Skin Studio

Clean Beauty Routine Kit

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The post 15 Clean Beauty Brands You Should Know About appeared first on The Everygirl.

30 Books That Should Be on Your Summer Reading List

Growing up, I’d enter my public library’s reading contest every summer. I’d always lose because swimming in the pool, watching The Lizzie McGuire Movie on a loop, and annoying my mom took precedence over reading. However, it never discouraged me. I entered that reading contest until my senior year of high school, and even since moving away, I look at summer as the chance to read all those book suggestions I’ve been stockpiling for months.

Well, this year, we’re winning that contest, people. Grab your notebooks (or the Soon app, my favorite way to track books and movies!), your Amazon password, and/or your library card. We’re about to get reading.

 

Brit Bennett

The Vanishing Half

This book has been much-anticipated in 2020, and it’s finally here! Two identical Black twin sisters run away at 16, and as adults, one returns with a Black husband and child and the other pretends to be white in California. The story follows each of their lives, their identities, and how these sisters lives intertwine, even in adulthood.

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Christina Lauren

The Unhoneymooners

A honeymoon is up for grabs when Olivia’s sister and Ethan’s best friend get food poisoning on their wedding night. Yes, Olivia and Ethan are rivals, so that just makes their tropical Maui vacay even better. You’ll want this one in your beach bag!

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Gretchen Rubin

The Happiness Project

Gretchen Rubin spent a year trying to figure out how to be happy (and what it means for her). If there’s any time to focus on your happiness, it’s the summer. We also love this option if you’re interested in psychology or the science behind contentment.

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Jacqueline Woodson

Red at the Bone

This book is a look at 16-year-old Melody in the present as well as her mother 16 years prior. It follows the history of Melodys family, the secrets they’ve kept, and how they’ve arrived to where they are now. It was on “Oprah Magazine”s “Best Books of 2019″ list and a “New York Times” Notable Book of the Year.

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Madeline Miller

Circe

Circe has the power of witchcraft, so Zeus banishes her to a deserted island. But she’s in danger and must find her power and save herself and her family. Being into Greek mythology is not a requirement to read this book, and even those who have never delved into that genre fall in love with Circe and her story. And whats more summery than Greek Gods?

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Mary Beth Keane

Ask Again, Yes

If you loved “Little Fires Everywhere,” this is a great one to add to your list. This book follows multiple families in a suburban town and deals with marriage, secrets, friendship, and more.

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Candace Carty-Williams

Queenie

Queenie, a 25-year-old Jamaican-British woman living in London, just got dumped. She seeks comfort in other men, but they never treat her how she deserves. “Queenie” is a tale about learning your self-worth, finding contentment, and sticking up for yourself. It’s a pretty common tale of being a woman in your 20s, so it’s bound to be quite a relatable read.

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Ruth Ware

In A Dark, Dark Wood

Nora gets invited to her ex-BFFs bachelorette party 10 years after they stopped being friends, and I can’t tell you much else because the suspense is everything in this book. Just trust us that this one is good. Read this if you’re looking for a little mystery-thriller this summer.

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Kara Thomas

The Cheerleaders

YA novels are a guilty pleasure for most of us, but they’re even better in the summertime. It just evokes all those “schools out, summers in” vibes. This one has all that plus a little murder mystery.

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Tommy Orange

There There

This book follows 12 characters in different Native communities who are all traveling to the Big Oakland Powwow. The book discusses how they’re all connected and the unknown similarities they all share. It educates readers on various experiences of Native American individuals in America today in a heartbreaking but hopeful way. This is a new summer arrival you’ll want to pick up (and probably won’t be able to put down).

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Jennifer Weiner

Big Summer

Daphne, a successful plus-size Instagram Influencer (um, yes!), is asked by her ex-best friend Drue to be the Maid of Honor in her Cape Cod wedding. As you can tell, it has the makings of every amazing summer novel out there. It discusses female friendships, social media, and more, with the backdrop of beautiful beaches, swimsuits, and summer love.

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Andrea Bartz

The Herd

Eleanor—the founder of The Herd, a women’s co-working space similar to The Wing—vanishes the night she’s supposed to make a huge announcement about the company. Everyone at the company is a suspect, including our main character Katie Bradley and her sister Hana, Eleanor’s best friend. Those craving a little work drama after not seeing your coworkers for months, here’s your pick.

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Matt Ortile

The Groom Will Keep His Name: And Other Vows I’ve Made about Race, Resistance, and Romance

This just-released book of essays by a gay Filipino immigrant in America will make you think about sex differently. There are already dozens of positive reviews raving about the witty, clever, and thought-provoking writing in this collection.

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Riley Sager

Home Before Dark

Maggie’s father became famous after writing a memoir about the haunted house their family lived in when Maggie was young. Twenty-five years later, she inhabits the house and decides to renovate it to sell, not believing in the ghost stories. But the more time she spends there, the more she realizes her dad might have been right. “Home Before Dark” is released on June 30.

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Kwana Jackson

Real Men Knit

When Jesse’s foster-turned-adoptive mother dies, he and his four brothers are left to keep up the business in her knitting shop in Harlem. Jesse, however, doesn’t know a thing about knitting and has spent most of his adult life as a bit of a player. He enlists the help of childhood friend Kerry to keep the business open, and a relationship sparks.

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Curtis Sittenfeld

Rodham

This might just be the summer book of 2020. This story looks at an alternate world in which Hillary Rodham doesn’t actually marry President Bill Clinton. You’re about to see this in a lot of beach bags.

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Angie Kim

Miracle Creek

In a small town in Virginia, a small group of people know each other because of their participation in a treatment center that is said to cure conditions such as infertility and autism. When the chamber explodes, killing two people, the suspect list narrows in on the few people who know about the center.

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Adrienne Brodeur

Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover, and Me

Although this cover is very summery, I wouldn’t consider this a beach read. However, it’s a riveting, interesting memoir about a mother-daughter bond, boundaries, and how our childhood affects our adult lives. Adrienne’s mother began confiding in her about the affair her mother was having with her step-father’s best friend, which ultimately affected Adrienne’s marriage and mental health as an adult.

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Meryl Wilsner

Something to Talk About

You can’t do summer without a romance. It’s just a fact. A Hollywood actress, Jo, and her assistant, Emma, spark dating rumors, but after spending tons of time together amidst it all, they realize the rumors maybe aren’t so off-base after all.

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Emily Henry

Beach Read

I mean, the title says it all, right? Two writers move into beach houses right next to each other, but their writing styles couldn’t be more different. January writes romance, while Augustus writes literary fiction. So, they make a pact to write each other’s genre instead.

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Paula Lennon

Murder in Montego Bay

This Jamaican-set murder mystery, detective series follows two Chinese-Jamaican brothers who were arrested for drunk driving. When Carter is leaving the station, he’s shot dead, and the detective assigned to the case is determined to catch the killer.

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Kevin Kwan

Sex and Vanity

The author who brought us the “Crazy Rich Asians” trilogy is back with this incredible love triangle. Lucie is torn between the white man of her parents’ dream and George Zao, the man she’s trying to convince herself not to fall in love with (but we all know she totally will).

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Jasmine Guillory

The Proposal

When Nikole’s boyfriend of five months (yep!) proposes in front of 45,000 people at a Dodger’s game, she says no. A woman after my own heart! But to help her get out of the crowd of disappointed fans, Carlos comes to her rescue, and the two embark on an epic romance filled with fun, food, and sex (what more could a girl want!).

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Abby Collette

A Deadly Inside Scoop

An ice cream shop mystery? Sign me the heck up. Bronwyn Crewse takes over her family’s ice cream shop in Ohio, and on the night of her opening, she finds a dead body in the snow outside the shop. Turns out, it belongs to a man who had a longtime fued with her family. So, Bronwyn decides she’s going to help solve the murder, all while keeping her ice cream shop afloat.

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Clare Lydon

Before You Say I Do

Yep, another romance. But can you blame me? It’s just quintessentially summer to think about love, OK. If you’re a little bummed about all the weddings you’re missing out on this summer, here’s one to read. Abby’s fiance hires a professional bridesmaid to help her in the last weeks before the wedding, and “cold feet” doesn’t even begin to explain what Abby starts to feel.

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Sonali Dev

Recipe for Persuasion

Chef Ashna Raje decides to go on “Cooking With A Stars,” a new reality show pairing chefs with celebrities. Of course, she’s paired with Rico Silva, her first love who ghosted her and is now a FIFA-winning soccer player. They begin to spend more time together, and … well, you know where I’m going.

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Chanel Cleeton

The Last Train to Key West

In the latest book from Cuban writer Chanel Cleeton (out June 16), this book follows three women as one of the worst hurricane ripples through the Florida Keys in 1935.

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Michele Campbell

A Stranger on the Beach

Marked as one of the best thrillers of summer 2019, in this book, Caroline’s marriage is falling apart, but she has a new fling on her horizon in Aiden. And although it means nothing but revenge and comfort to her, Aiden becomes obsessed with her, her family, and her new beach house. Then, her husband goes missing, and she’s accused of the murder. We’re considering this a thriller-lover’s must read of the summer.

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Renée Rosen

Park Avenue Summer

For fans of “The Devil Wears Prada” comes this novel about a summer in New York City working under former Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief Helen Gurley Brown as she was writing her book, “Sex and the Single Girl.”

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What are you reading this summer?! What should we add to our lists? Let us know you’re recommendations in the comments!

The post 30 Books That Should Be on Your Summer Reading List appeared first on The Everygirl.

Are You Cleaner Than The Average American?

Cleanliness, like so many things in life, is subjective. While some people can’t possibly relax after dinner if they have a sink full of dishes, others can let their flatware “soak” for hours on end without a second thought. Keeping your home in tiptop shape may be a top priority for you, whereas others accept that we all have a junk drawer or two. One thing we can agree on though is now that we’re spending more time at home than ever before, having clean and organized surroundings is starting to matter more. Especially when it comes time to disinfect surfaces, which isn’t easy to do with tons of clutter lying about.

Basically, spring cleaning feels pretty darn important this year. To make the process a bit more interesting, let’s look at the cleaning habits of Americans. Then we can get to hunting down those aggressive dust bunnies.

 

Source: Reserve Home

 

How Do Your Habits Stack Up?

There’s no shame in the overflowing laundry basket game, but it can be fun to take a peek at other people’s literal dirty laundry. Especially, when you consider 2 percent of people reported never cleaning their bed linens, like ever, according to the 2019 ACI National Cleaning Survey. Bedding isn’t the only chore getting skipped over. Twenty percent of people reported never having cleaned their washing machine, 41 percent don’t even remember the last time they gave their refrigerator a good scrub, and overall 31 percent admitted to not cleaning areas of their home that they know they should. When it comes to spring cleaning in particular, Americans like to give their windows, closets/dressers, and ceiling fans the most love.

 

Robin Williams Dancing GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

Clutter seems to be an issue many of us have in common. According to the OfferUp 2019 Spring Cleaning Report, 62 percent of people have a closet full of items that don’t get frequent use, and 41 percent have a similar set up in their garage. Clearly the clutter weighs on us, because 37 percent of Americans intended to spend at least a full day decluttering in the spring of 2019. What rooms are the most worthy of a decluttering session? According to the survey responses, the bedroom is in first place, followed by the closet, living room, and garage. Once a space is free of clutter and ready to enjoy, the bulk of respondents said they would like to use a clutter-free space in their home for an office, which feels particularly helpful right now.

It’s understandable if certain chores slip through the cracks. Depending on the size of your home and if you have a family, it can take a lot of effort to maintain your ideal cleanliness standards. Another survey from ACI found that 28 percent of people spend seven hours a week cleaning their homes, with 74 percent of people focusing on light cleaning tasks most frequently. Primarily, they reported prioritizing cleaning toilets, floors, and appliances, with over half of participants dreading cleaning the bathroom the most. While 34 percent of those surveyed are concerned they don’t clean enough, about a third wonder if they are even going about cleaning properly.

 

Source: Leclair Decor | @leclairdecor

 

Do You Feel The Same?

Why do we clean? In short, we clean because we have to, but also because we want to. Of course, sometimes it can take an extra push to pick up your mop and get to work. That push often comes in the form of visitors or a move. Forty-three percent of Americans declutter before a visitor comes over and 40 percent do so when moving

Another major motivator for keeping our homes squeaky clean is simply because it feels good. For 70 percent of Americans, a feeling of accomplishment comes after tidying their homes, and 61 percent feel de-stressed afterwards. Other positive feelings associated with a good cleaning session are relaxation, productivity, and confidence. It seems like we need to have a good spring cleaning session each season, as 36 percent of people reported feeling extremely accomplished afterwards. Anyone who’s watched Tidying Up with Marie Kondo knows how good getting rid of clutter can feel. After the show aired, thrift stores saw a massive rise in donations. Thrift stores also saw a rise in donations during the coronavirus pandemic, which gave many people extra time at home to get their spring cleaning done.

 

Source: Jessica Garvin

 

Are You Keeping the Peace?

Getting your home in order has many benefits. You can always find your keys, you’ll be ready for friends to stop by with no warning, and you’ll likely feel happier in your home. It turns out, your relationships can improve as well if you keep things neat and tidy, especially if you’re cohabiting with someone. Around a third of people feel that their roommate or partner’s tidiness is important to them.

Getting on the same page with whomever you live with about cleanliness standards is likely a good idea, as many people don’t like arguing about these issues. So much so, that 32 percent would rather wait in line at the DMV and 25 percent would choose to spend time with their in-laws before fighting about decluttering. And if you like having houseguests, then you might want to be extra vigilant about clutter, as 28 percent of visitors don’t want to return to a very cluttered house.

 

How do you think your cleaning habits compare to the average American’s? Is Monica Geller your cleaning spirit animal or your worst nightmare?

The post Are You Cleaner Than The Average American? appeared first on The Everygirl.

21 Healthy Lunches to Meal Prep This Week

Whether I’m working in an office or at home, there’s nothing that quite lifts my spirits like knowing that a healthy, delicious lunch is already made and ready for me whenever hunger strikes. No one needs a hanger-induced meltdown, even if it’s an internal meltdown. To combat any irritation, frustration, or indecision—not to mention save some serious time and money—I like to make lunch ahead of time if at all possible, even if I’m not doing much meal planning for the rest of my meals for the week.

These 21 lunches check all the boxes: they’re easy, they’re healthy (or at least reasonably so), and they look like they’re pretty darn good too. You’ll eat well all week long.

 

1. Chicken and Bacon Ranch Bowls

Source: The Defined Dish

 

2. Crispy Vegan Quinoa Patties with Spinach and Tomatoes

Source: Jessica in the Kitchen

 

3. Dan Dan Zoodle Cups

Source: Cotter Crunch

 

4. Cheesy Broccoli, Chicken, and Rice Stuffed Peppers

Source: Recipe Runner

 

5. Cucumber, Tomato, Avocado Salad

Source: By Erin Clarke of Well Plated

 

6. Creamy Goat Cheese and Arugula Farro Salad

Source: Two Peas and Their Pod

 

7. Strawberry Caprese Pasta Salad

Source: Foodie Crush

 

8. Sriracha Chicken Salad

Source: Fit Foodie Finds

 

9. Spanish Chicken Stew

Source: By Erin Clarke of Well Plated

 

10. Vegan Burritos

Source: Jessica in the Kitchen

 

11. Mini BBQ Meatloaves

Source: The Defined Dish

 

12. Chicken and Black Bean Wrap

Source: Downshiftology

 

13. Greek Pita Pizzas

Source: Recipe Runner

 

14. Chicken Taco Bowls

Source: As Easy As Apple Pie

 

15. Tuscan Tuna and White Bean Salad

Source: Foodie Crush

 

16. Huli Huli Chicken Wraps

Source: Sweet Tea and Thyme

 

17. Egg Roll in a Bowl

Source: Fox and Briar

 

18. Keto Italian Chicken Meal Prep Casserole

Source: Cotter Crunch

 

19. Spring Cobb Salad with Raspberry Vinaigrette

Source: Fit Foodie Finds

 

20. Spinach Mushroom Breakfast Casserole

Source: Two Peas and Their Pod

 

21. Tortellini Panzanella Salad with Balsamic Honey Vinaigrette

Source: Whole and Heavenly Oven

 

The post 21 Healthy Lunches to Meal Prep This Week appeared first on The Everygirl.

An Open Letter to Those Who Don’t Understand My Mixed Race Marriage

What would it feel like if you were walking hand-in-hand with your partner down the street and everyone you passed stared a little too long or whispered and pointed your way? How would you feel if strangers commented on your marriage because they couldn’t understand why you two would be together? Those whispers, stares, and comments are what I often experience, because I am in a mixed-race marriage. Interracial couples past and present have always felt the lingering eye of society, and I am here today to openly invite you into my experience. 

June 12th is Loving Day, a day that commemorates and celebrates the Supreme Court’s decision to end all anti-miscegenation laws remaining in 16 U.S. states. At the time this was a landmark case, but what you may not know is that the Lovings were an actual couple. Mildred Jeter (Black and Indigenous) and Richard Loving (identified as White) fell in love and wanted to get married. However, their home state of Virginia wouldn’t allow it, so the couple crossed the border to Washington D.C to get married, and then returned to live in Virginia. Virginia’s laws at that time would also not allow mixed-race couples to marry elsewhere and live in Virginia, so in the middle of the night the Lovings were pulled from their home and thrown in jail. 

The judge sentenced them to 1-3 years in jail and said they could take their punishment or leave Virginia for 25 years. The Lovings opted to leave everything they knew and loved. They continued to struggle as they were alienated from the community that they grew up with and continued to fight for justice. After almost 10 years, their case finally made it to the Supreme Court.

On June 12th, 1967 Loving v Virginia was unanimously decided:

“Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides within the individual and cannot be infringed on by the state,” as Chief Justice Earl Warren wrote in his decision.

Loving v. Virginia allowed every interracial couple to marry and exist freely—including me and my husband, who married in 2014. I met my husband in 2010, when we were both in the cast of the musical Rent. Our connection was and has always been really easy and drama-free. We travel well together, we laugh, cook, and dream together, so when he asked me to marry him in front of the Taj Mahal (yes! that Taj Mahal) I never gave it a second thought. Walking in the footsteps of the Lovings should have made our union seamlessly co-exist, my experiences have shown me otherwise.

 

Walking in the footsteps of the Lovings should have made our union seamlessly co-exist, my experiences have shown me otherwise.

 

During one of our travels, we took a few friends along with us on a trip to India. The night before we were set to go on a safari, the lodge guests, including my husband and friends, were sitting around a campfire after dinner. There was a white couple who began asking us the usual traveler questions such as, “Where are you from? What do you do for a living?” Now, I’m naturally an introvert, so I was hanging in the back not saying much. 

The couple then asked my husband, who was the only male in the group, “Who are you here with?” My husband said, “My wife and our three friends.” The man then turned to my friend (who was the only other white girl our age) and asked her, “How long have you guys been married?” My friend’s eyes got real wide and she exclaimed, “I am not his wife, she’s his wife.” Now, I was sitting in a chair off to the side watching this all go down, as this was not my first experience with this type of reaction, patiently waiting to see how all of this was going to play out. The couple looks at me, back at my husband, and at me again, trying to calculate and make sense of us. They even had the audacity to ask again, “She’s your wife?” They were in total disbelief. That couple easily allowed their minds to accept a white couple, but a mixed-race couple was out of the question. 

Experiences like this happen more often than not. People staring longer than they should, the whispers as we walk by holding hands, and the raised eyebrows we get as we introduce each other. While most people won’t directly say anything to us, the small gestures of continual disapproval are like tiny little paper cuts felt all over. 

When you say, “She’s your wife?”

I hear, “Why would you be with her when there are so many other beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed women to marry?”

When you say, “I don’t really get your marriage.”

I hear, “Black people and white people shouldn’t marry.”

I was managing a boutique fitness studio in NYC in 2016. I was new, so my coworkers didn’t really know me yet. One day, a trainer had some free time before her class and asked me about my relationship and to describe my husband. I said something like, “He’s 6’2”, blonde curly hair, and is a Rock N Roll singer and actor.” I could see the conclusions she was building behind her eyes, but she said nothing and left to teach her class. 

A few weeks later, my husband came to take a class. After he was done and left the building, the same trainer, who just couldn’t help herself said, “At first I didn’t understand why your husband looks like that, but I guess I get it.” Is my marriage something she has to get? Why wasn’t she able to accept us just because we existed? Because he’s white and I’m Black and something in her bias couldn’t compute us being together.  

I tell you my experience not to teach but to share that even though Loving v. Virginia was decided in 1967, disapproval for interracial marriage is still happening in 2020. In today’s day and age it’s a true gift to find someone that you love and connect with deeply. So I ask that the next time you encounter a mixed-race couple, offer them love and acceptance just because they exist. 

Want to get started? Here’s what you can do:

  • Start with yourself. Ask yourself what makes you uncomfortable about seeing a mixed-race couple.
  • Once you have some answers, take time to dig deeper into why those particular feelings are showing up for you.
  • Begin to have conversations with people who support and uplift you (family, friends, therapists, mentors) to seek guidance. 
  • Genuinely get to know mixed-race couples for who they are individually and collectively. Knowledge and connection are powerful tools to dismantle our own biases.
  • Celebrate LOVE no matter what it looks like on the outside

 

Looking for your understanding and compassion,

Kendra

 

Want to learn a little more about the Lovings? Watch The Loving Story or visit LovingDay.org

 

The post An Open Letter to Those Who Don’t Understand My Mixed Race Marriage appeared first on The Everygirl.

How Andrew Used Bigger Leaner Stronger to Lose 80 Pounds and Get Jacked

In this episode, I interview Andrew, who used Bigger Leaner Stronger to transform his understanding of getting fit and finally start making real progress.

When Andrew was 240 pounds and out of shape, he decided to make a change. He wanted to lose some weight, and he did what most people do: hopped on the treadmill for endless hours of cardio, ate way too much, and . . . not much changed.

Eventually, he got fed up with spinning his wheels, did a bit of Googling, and found Bigger Leaner Stronger.

After reading the book, Andrew understood what he was doing wrong, and had a plan to fix it. He started following the BLS program and it helped him completely transform his physique and life. 

He ended up losing 80 pounds while getting significantly stronger. In fact, the changes were so significant that his friends and co-workers started asking him what he was doing.

In this interview, Andrew and I talk about his story and the key lessons he’s learned along the way, including how he was eating and exercising before BLS, how misconceptions about “healthy” foods held him back, how he turned it all around by learning about macros and the fundamentals of proper training, and more. 

So if you’re looking for a jolt of inspiration and like motivational stories, I highly recommend you listen to this episode.

Oh and if you like this episode and want to get notified when a new one goes live, head on over to Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, YouTube, Soundcloud, or Google Play and subscribe.

Lastly, if you want to support the show, please drop a quick review of it over on iTunes. It really helps!

Timestamps:

5:28 – Where was your diet and fitness before you found me and my work?

10:43 – How did the enjoyment of exercise change when you started Bigger Learner Stronger?

13:04 – How was your perception of the 3rd edition versus the 2nd edition of Bigger Leaner Stronger?

16:35 – What were some obstacles you had to overcome?

20:20 – How have you improved in the skill of weightlifting?

22:42 – What does mind muscle connection mean to you?

26:33 – Did you run into any obstacles with the types of food thats you were eating?

32:08 – What are you doing now for workouts?

Mentioned on The Show:

Bigger Leaner Stronger

Lunar 

Whey+ 

Pulse

What did you think of this episode? Have anything else to share? Let me know in the comments below!

The post How Andrew Used Bigger Leaner Stronger to Lose 80 Pounds and Get Jacked appeared first on Legion Athletics.

Exactly How I’m Eating, Training, and Supplementing Right Now

I get asked quite frequently about my personal training and eating habits. 

People who read my books, read my articles, or listen to my podcasts know what I recommend in terms of training and dieting, but what does my personal regimen look like? In other words, what’s really going on behind the scenes when you peel back the curtain?

What’s my exact training routine and what do my meals look like? And which supplements am I taking and why?

Well, if you check out my Instagram stories, you’ll get glimpses now and then. I occasionally post videos of some sets during a workout or pictures of a meal. 

But in this episode, I’m going to reveal the whole shebang. People ask to see a full day of eating or what a week of training looks like for me, and I understand. Seeing how someone who’s been dieting and lifting weights correctly for over a decade does things can be a valuable learning experience, so I’m going to give the people what they want.

And while I’ve answered these sorts of requests in past episodes of the podcast, these routines change over time, so it’s due time I give a little update. My answer got quite long, too, so I also decided to make this its own episode, rather than sticking it into a shorter Q & A episode.

So, if you’re curious how I’ve been eating and training during the COVID-19 lockdown, and what supplements I’ve been taking, find out in this episode. 

Oh and if you like this episode and want to get notified when a new one goes live, head on over to Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, YouTube, Soundcloud, or Google Play and subscribe.

Lastly, if you want to support the show, please drop a quick review of it over on iTunes. It really helps!

Timestamps:

4:07 – How are you eating and training during quarantine? 

53:35 – What supplements are you taking during quarantine? 

Mentioned on The Show:

Books by Mike Matthews

What did you think of this episode? Have anything else to share? Let me know in the comments below!

The post Exactly How I’m Eating, Training, and Supplementing Right Now appeared first on Legion Athletics.

Save The Marriage System Review

Save The Marriage System

Save The Marriage System is an online program that is a collaboration of the most effective relationship and marriage-saving techniques that have been tested and retested – and proven to have high success rates. Whether you’re newly married and having difficulties transitioning into this new chapter or are on the verge of divorce, or perhaps you’re already separated from your possibly future-ex wanting no part in mending the relationship, don’t throw in the towel just yet. Save The Marriage System gives you relationship counseling right in the comfort of your own home and it’s provided to you by the incredible Dr. Lee H. Baucom, who has saved thousands of marriages over the years and for the fraction of the price of traditional therapy.

Save The Marriage System Review

 

What is Save The Marriage System?

Forget about forking over a fortune for expensive marriage counseling. Studies show that even the best marriage counselors only have a success rate of 20% and that’s because most of the techniques provided to you are memorized from some textbook. They’re often outdated and unrelatable or irrelevant to your situation, crisis or relationship as a whole.

Save The Marriage System is a comprehensive program that has collaborated the most effective marriage-saving techniques that have been tested again and again, and proven to work. The system comes with five different components, all of which allow you to

  1. Identify the crisis (cause) of the failing marriage
  2. Learn ways to save your marriage based on the crisis
  3. Understand the inner workings of a successful marriage
  4. Learn how to build a happy marriage
  5. Learn the factors that affect marriages
  6. Discover step-by-step methods for rebuilding your marriage

I will get into this in more detail in just a moment but first, it’s worth mentioning that you do not have to worry about an awkward package arriving at your doorstep for all of your neighbors to see. Save The Marriage System is a digital program, so you just go in and download the content right onto your computer, laptop, tablet or smartphone. This allows you to access the program whenever and wherever you go, and in the privacy of your own home and at your leisure. And what is that content, you ask? Save The Marriage System is broken down into five different reports/eBooks, which are:

  1. The eBook
  2. Top 5 Mistakes Report
  3. Quick Start Guide
  4. Down-N-Dirty Guide
  5. Dealing with Anger and Resentment Report
Save The Marriage System Download Page
Save The Marriage System – Download Page (Preview)

You also receive some bonuses for absolutely free which include:

  • Bonus: Mid-Life Marriage Crisis Audio
  • Recovering From an Affair Audio
  • 5 Rules for Fair Fighting Report
  • Change of Heart
  • Free Coaching Session

And if that wasn’t enough to satisfy you or give you the confidence that your marriage can be fixed with the effective and expert relationship techniques provided to you, you also receive a 60 Day Money Back Guarantee. This gives you two months to try the system out!

Who is the Creator of Save The Marriage System?

Dr. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. is the creator of this powerful program. He is a marriage counselor, expert relationship coach, and marriage expert and he has two master’s degrees and a Ph.D. He has been in the industry for over 22 years and narrows in his coachings on new therapy techniques that have high success rates, all of which you receive in this program.

how to save your marriage from divorce

Overview of Save The Marriage System

Save The Marriage System is a comprehensive guide that breaks down the relationship barriers and crisis’, so you can start to use the most effective methods to not only save your marriage but to also start repairing and reigniting the flame that you both once experienced. The methods you learn throughout this system have been tested and retested again to ensure the most powerful way to repair and transform your marriage into something amazing.

Save The Marriage System Table of Contents
Save The Marriage System – Table of Contents (Preview)

But don’t take my word for it. Here’s a look at some of the topics covered throughout the system:

  1. Why Traditional Couple Therapy Fails
    1. The Faulty Assumption
    2. An Example
    3. The Doomed Idea
    4. If Not Couple Therapy, Then What?
  2. Moving From You and Me to We
    1. Controlled/Controlling
    2. Under/Over functioning
    3. Power Struggles
    4. Your Turn (Check List)
    5. The Physics of Relating
    6. Your Turn (Checklist)
  3. Recipe of a Successful Marriage
    1. Accurate Perception
    2. Clear Communication
    3. Right Action
    4. The Interplay
    5. Pulling It Together
    6. Your Turn (Checklist)
    7. Exercise: Me, You, We
  4. Finding The North Star of Your Relationship
    1. False North Stars
    2. Finding a True North Star
    3. Your Turn (Checklist)
  5. 3 Simple Secrets to a Successful Marriage
    1. Secret #1: Giving Up on Arguing
    2. Secret #2: Focus on the Complementarity
    3. Secret #3: Make Decisions Based on What Is Good For The Relationship
  6. Create an Upward Cycle
    1. Shifting Momentum
    2. An Instant Shift
    3. Your Turn (Checklist)
  7. Don’t Ask Yourself Whether You Are Still In Love
    1. Why Not Emotions?
    2. So, What Should I Do?
    3. Your Turn (Checklist)
    4. When the Emotions Are Missing
    5. Reconnecting With The Emotions
    6. Your Turn (Checklist)
  8. Chapter 8: When Emotions Are Amiss
    1. Intimacy and Abandonment
    2. The Fears
    3. Dealing with The Mix
    4. Understanding Anger
    5. Your Turn (Checklist)
  9. We All Have a Paradigm
    1. So What’s The Tie-In?
    2. The Paradigm Problem
    3. A Paradigm of People’s Paradigms
    4. Your Turn (Checklist)
    5. Escaping the Paradigm Trap
    6. We Are All Doing The Best We Can
    7. We All Operate From Our Own Perspectives
    8. Doing To You Vs. Doing For Themselves
    9. What This Doesn’t Mean
  10. Boundaries: Where You Begin and End
    1. Boundaries and Standards
    2. Setting Boundaries in the Relationship
    3. Why Boundaries Are Important For You
    4. Boundaries and Standards Exercise
    5. Boundaries of the Relationship
  11. The Practices of Marriage
    1. Practice “Benefit Of The Doubt” Thinking
    2. Practice a Sense of Gratitude
    3. Practice Continual Forgiveness
  12. The Path to Intimacy
    1. Stage One: Pseudo-Intimacy
    2. Stage Two: Chaos
    3. Stage Three: Emptiness
    4. Stage Four: Intimacy
  13. High Mood Relating
    1. Focus on Options
  14. Living a Relationship In The Present
  15. Sex Is About We
    1. The Reality of Sexual Issues in Marriage
    2. The Energy of Sexuality
    3. A Different Approach
  16. Money, Power and We
    1. Freedom vs. Security
    2. The Role of Money in a Couple’s Life
    3. The Alternative View
    4. Two Keys to a New Perspective
    5. Exercise: Your Money Autobiography
  17. Don’t Just Grow; Evolve
    1. The Current View of Relationships
    2. A Paradigm View of Relationships
  18. Where Do I Go From Here?
    1. Relationship Coaching
    2. Teleclasses
    3. Books and Resources

Our Verdict

Save The Marriage System is a comprehensive guide that is a collective of the most effective marriage-saving techniques that focus on identifying the crisis (main clause) of the marriage falling apart, so you can start to repair it from there. It comes with exercises and checklists, and all types of incredible advice and perspectives for you to learn from. And best of all, you don’t even have to change who you are or what you want; your spouse doesn’t even have to be on board. Fixing your marriage is something you can conquer and initiate yourself and hey, you have two months to give it a go with the 60 Day Money Back Guarantee.

 

Download Save The Marriage System PDF

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